Recently I posted this 'tweet'
We just had a holy crazy Ocean View household with like 5938uodje3038u million peeps in and out. WHOA.
It was one of those crazy View days where like a million people were in and out of our house. Someone at our Hillsong leaders Connect Group last night asked how I deal with that, all the people coming in and out of our home and life every day. I laughed, remembering in the moment how I was TRYING to be okay with it all, but it was really overwhelming and I had to control myself so I wouldn't just scream at everyone. I didn't, but it was a close one.
Today on the way to the gym, Casey and I were reflecting on something that happened later that night, as a woman came to the door asking for food and we eventually turned her away. This is a DAILY occurance, and something we have tried to make decisions on so we can have a united front. There are two sides for me. One is the privacy, and if we continually give food from our house, people will be knocking on our door all the time. Emotionally I just can't handle it all. But the other side is just having enough - how can we literally always be giving food out - it's not like we have an endless supply either. And this was what Casey was telling this woman, that we can't just give food to everyone or we will not have enough. This morning he was reflecting that even as he said it he cringed, knowing undeneath that common remark shows a lack of faith that God can provide all we AND others need. Do we really trust God? What should our response be to those in immediate need around us? What WOULD Jesus do?
We realize that we do need a new plan, a small way to help alleviate hunger immediately for people, but also connecting them to our church that DOES want to reach out to our community helping them to find ways out of hard places, and also helping people to connect with job creation ministries that we partner with (like 'Living Way' that has been created out of Living Hope).
Ultimately we both know that each knock on that door is Jesus and opens up the truth of pride, sin, and fear in our hearts. Sometimes living in a township is like a mirror, and what we see in the reflection is pretty rough. All of us have 'knocks' on the doors of our lives, in our jobs, school, neigborhood, even by family members. Do we answer the door or turn people away? Maybe you should join us by looking in the mirror; don't be scared of how disheveled you really are, Jesus is going to help clean you up.
Lots of love,
Sarah
2 comments:
wow, this speaks right to my heart tonight. i just wrote a blog with the same feeling last night... and today i still struggled with fear, exhaustion, and the privacy issue as well. so good to know that I am not the only one who feels this way.
jessica
i have no idea what i would do. however, i do KNOW that it is God's will for you guys to be in S.A., so i think He WILL provide whatever you need while you're there.
one thing i hate about us (Americans) is that we are so "private"...that we are so used to our privacy. i think the Lord would rather us all know everyone's business and share everything with everyone and all be in each other's space all the time. but that is SOO easy to say and would be so difficult to actually do (sari, props to you for not screaming at everyone in your house...i know i prob would've). especially after living our entire lives a different way.
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