Monday, November 8, 2010
It's another Monday morning, but I must admit that I feel a bit worn this morning, a departure from my usual chipper Monday self (I can't believe who I am turning into, but I like being oddly happy!). We had a busy weekend as usual, but I think the added new family member Ntokozo (pronounced En-tah-koh-zoh) brought a new level of emotional strain! But at the end of our first weekend, I had a BTT (bed time talk for you non-campers!) with Ntokozo before she went to bed and she assured me she is not running away this week! She has said that we are 'funny' (obviously I always love that, but is she laughing WITH us or AT us...) and that she enjoyed her weekend. She makes the funniest faces when I ask her questions, like she is ALWAYS surprised at our world. I think she is. What I loved most about our talk Sunday night was that she said she feels relaxed here and can read and study very freely. She says can rest and relax and her 'brain doesn't hurt' from all the bad things going on. Wow. Pretty profound. It's so interesting because this is a child, and she really does struggle to communicate what she is thinking through, but I thought that spoke volumes. I told her that we want our home to be a place where she feels safe, peaceful, and loved. I told her that we love having her here and just want her to enjoy her time and have space to think and pray. It was a heavy family weekend as I had to jump into some various counseling ministries with family, and the power and pain potential of a family is deeply weighing on my heart. Our homes have the power to make or break people; to build them up for a life of greatness, or completely tear them down to rubble. Around Ocean View you see more of the latter, but my prayer is that our home is a SPACE where God can do deep healing and love in Ntokozo's heart. We went to Ocean View Methodist on Sunday morning like usual and then went to a later morning service in the city at Hillsong. Pastor Lucinda Dooley's message was about brokenness, and creating that space needed for God to heal the cracks in our heart that prevent us from living how we were created. It was perfect for Ntokozo and she said last night she was really touched by it. But Lucinda's second piece of her sermon really touched Casey and I both (as he shared in his last post below), and God is challenging us to continue to embrace a life of brokenness, laying everything down for the kingdom of God. Living with Ntokozo is a constant reminder of pain as she shares little pieces of her life with us, but we embrace her with the love of God that can transform her pain into beauty. The potential is great, the possible risk even greater, but our hope is greatest of all. We love having Ntokozo in our home already and look forward to the days ahead. I think we will laugh and do fun things together, but I PRAY that she will find hope and courage and healing and love in our space. Only God can do that, so please join us in inviting Him deeper into her life.
Lots of love,
Broken Heart – Photo credit to Hypermania37@dreamstime.com