If forming friendships with exploited people is important to us, we will be drawn into some complicated situations. We will probably get splashed with some of the ambiguity and uncertainty. Can we really be friends of war criminals and girls who abuse their unborn children? What does it mean—for us, for them, for mission?
Ambiguities often cause us to pull away. The circumstances are too tainted, too unclear. We worry about becoming complicit in the evil, about facilitating the wrong or being personally corrupted. It’s not just these very dramatic circumstances that challenge us—anyone who has a family member or close friend who struggles with an addiction knows about some of these questions.
We want to fix things and people. As Christians, we long to bring healing to broken circumstances and to be instruments of God’s reconciling and healing work. Americans tend to take that a step further and expect to be able to solve problems quickly, on our terms and with our tools. But that assumes a level of power and control that is sometimes unavailable and often inappropriate.
— “Friendship at the Margins: Discovering Mutuality in Service and Mission,” by Chris Heuertz and Christine Pohl (IVP, 2010): page 96
I have longed for years to have genuine friendships with people 'in the margins' or those who I call the 'last and the least' in our world. The hurt, the broken, and the forgotten. Now I am working on forming those friendships and I have realized it's such a struggle! I lately have found myself hurt because these people who are broken will sometimes lie to me, or live secret lives or drugs, abuse, or addiction, or they keep me at a distance because I am so different from them. It's very different from my experiences in ministry back home where I easily and quickly would create relationships and trust with people that I am ministering to. I come with a pure heart (or honestly try and pray to), but feel like there is sometimes such a great divide between myself and the people I want to love. And my honest desire is to build friendships with these people. But I am finding it's not that simple. This quote really spoke to me and some of my deeper motives and how I need to surrender what I want to get and see accomplished through these relationships. I am certainly in some very complicated situations, but I think I am exactly where I need to be, and the fruit will come through time as I really allow these friendships to authentically grow and develop. I need patience, grace, and a deeper love than I can give with my own strength. I pray for God to give these things to my spirit and to see great things in time through these relationships. I believe I will.
Lots of love,
Sarah
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