Saturday, April 5, 2008

Needing to Be Honest

So, I’m feeling the need to be honest. I want to act like this whole experience is always perfect and amazing. That people are begging me to tell them about Jesus, that I’m seeing kids loved well all the time, and that people are healed from disease. But it’s not always like that. This week was a bit of a challenge for me. Holiday Club didn’t really go like I hoped it would. The teenagers that I trained actually did a pretty good job, but the camp in general just wasn’t what I hoped it would be. I don’t think we are really imparting any real spiritual truth to these kids. Hopefully, this second week will be much better.
But I also suffered from a bit of homesickness this week. I don’t know if it’s just superficial stuff like missing the NCAA Tournament and watching the Tarheels play or really wanting some Los Tres right now. Those things that we get so used to doing or being a part of that when we are removed from it long enough we start to notice. I’ve seen one tournament game b/c we have no TV, thus no satellite, and thus no DVR. (I will admit that we found a place to watch Saturday’s game, of course, that means at 3am Sunday morning, but you gotta do what you gotta do.) Or is it the deeper stuff that I really miss like all of you? Whatever it is I’ve simply missed home this week. Maybe it’s with Evan and Kerryn going to Raleigh we’ve been talking so much about how much we love it there and how great all of you are. Maybe it’s meeting the mid-point of our journey. Maybe it’s having a week of ministry that wasn’t completely fulfilling. In the end I want to be honest that though we aren’t living in a hut in the bush of rural Africa, this still isn’t always easy.
I’m not really looking for your sympathy mostly your prayers. Pray that I would have the perseverance to push through this and to really take hold of the things that God wants me to do, accomplish, learn, and experience here. Pray for Sarah’s health as she’s been feeling bit under the weather the last couple of days. (By the way, she’s “in the zone” with Jesus right now, to use a hoops term. She’s hearing Him so clearly right now and doing amazing ministry.)
Oh, a quick recommendation. We had dinner with two couples tonight. One is here for a few years and our hosts have been with Campus Crusade for almost 35 years. They’ve served Jesus all over the world: all over Latin America, the former Soviet Union, Eastern Europe, and in several different parts of Africa. They showed us a movie called, “The God’s Must Be Crazy”. It’s from the 80’s, but it’s ridiculously funny and silly. It’s got a great message, lots of sarcasm, but really silly. Try to find it, I think you’ll enjoy it.
We treasure your prayers and are thankful that you join us on this journey.



Madrap said...

Hey Casey,

Good luck for you second week, I'll be praying for you. Love you lots Flattie!

Jim Collins said...

Casey, nothing in my life tells me what you must be feeling. I have no idea why God puts us through those experiences He does, but I trust Him and know you do to. He is the only way you can continue and I know you are focused on Him. My prayer will be that He draws you close and loves you the way you are loving the people there and the way I love you too!


Alicia Collins said...

I think honest is the best way to go. God knows your heart anyway, and He really is the only "audience of one". I knew there would be some tough days dealing w/ death and dying, but also dealing with despair and apathy, which is also a reality of these children and adults in townships. The fact that you can get one child excited about God in their lives is such an accomplishment given the environment. Give your attitude to Him and He will take care of you. Missing home is only normal, we miss you so much as well. Thanks for being real,
love you, Mother